


Sandstorm

by VioletAttack



Category: Wings of Fire - Tui T. Sutherland
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety bros!!, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, I wrote this as being platonic but you can read it as romantic if you'd like, Moon and winter are like.... mentioned but not included, Qibli Has PTSD, Qibli has a breakdown, Turtle is there to help, idk man it doesn't super come up, kind of here??, oh yeah ADHD qibli is like, same with Thorn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:01:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21803377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletAttack/pseuds/VioletAttack
Summary: I wrote this originally at 1am on Tumblr as a self-indulgent vent fic and now I'm publishing it on ao3 at 4am a month later. Poetic cinema.Qibli's having a moment and Turtle's there to help.
Relationships: Qibli & Thorn (Wings of Fire), Qibli & Turtle (Wings of Fire)
Kudos: 38





	Sandstorm

It had been almost 20 minutes, and Qibli’s talons wouldn’t come unstuck from the floor. Pushing himself against the stone wall, he tried to curl his body inwards, wings pulled over his head as he struggled to keep his breathing consistent. It was a familiar feeling, if not one he had ever wanted to feel again. Shoulders shaking and muscles tense, he closed his eyes, his ears buzzing almost loud enough to drown out his thoughts and breathing.

He had to imagine sandstorm victims felt the same way, all smothered under the oppressive heat and force that seemed to squirm its way under his scales and itch at his skin. The way the sand hid everything, made the world disorienting and knocked you from side to side while the wind screamed in your ears. Except that a sandstorm was real, tangible and with real consequences that left you dead, a palpable, easily foreseeable ending to the nightmare. Qibli wasn't sure if that was better or worse than what was happening now.

The worst part was how minor it had started out. Just a sharp reprimand from Webs for goofing out in class as he was trying to impress Ostrich with some dumb jokes, a little sleight-of-hand trick he had learned just to impress her (or anyone else who might've been watching, he wasn't picky). On any other day, Qibli would’ve been able to shake it off, drag himself back into his body and carry on as normal. And he thought he had, right up until Winter snapped at him after one joke too many, glaring at Qibli with what came too close to real anger for comfort, and the world had started to slip and blur around him with the sounds of the cafeteria washing over him like a tidal wave of overwhelming noise and chaos, setting every sense on high alert as his first signs of the storm started up.

He had gotten too used to having dragons who knew him. Thorn and Six-Claws had always been able to spot when he was first starting to slip, had been able to drag him away from the edge and back into the warmth and safety of conversation, or let him gather himself silently. But even with Moon and her mind-reading, no one had really noticed when he got quiet, and his eventual exit and departure down to the underground lake.

 _“I bet they noticed, they just didn’t care.”_ The thought came to him, the statement settling in his stomach like a stone, heavy and dull. _“And why should they? What do you do for them besides annoy them.”_ A voice chimed in Qibli’s head, separate and starting out quiet, though the volume grew fast and with it the words sharper. “All you do is bother the dragons in your life. You’re an embarrassment and a failure, and we both know it.”

“... I want Thorn,” Qibli mumbled, half out loud and half in his head. At this point, he couldn't tell. _“Oh, like she’s any better?”_ The voice taunted, curling around his head like a python, slowly constricting its prey. _“She can’t stand you. She has to regret having taken you in, but now it’s too late for her to get rid of you so she just pretends to like you. To want you there.”_

 _“That’s not true.”_ Qibli thought back helplessly, struggling to get the words through the torrents of negative emotions. It was like trying to hold back a river with only his talons, and he could feel himself slipping, dragged into their current as the waves buffeted him.

 _“She has Sunny now anyway, you were just there to fill that space until she got her real child back. She humored you, nothing more and nothing less, exactly what you deserve. And now you’re at Jade Mountain Academy, where she never has to see or deal with you again.”_ The words were familiar, even as the voice slipped in and out of different dragons. Sometimes it sounded like him, sometimes Winter, other times Vulture’s horrid, slimy tone would make its way into the sound of it. Worst of all was when it was Thorn, her voice piercing into his heart like a scorpion’s sting. _“What, you thought you could be something to her? A son maybe? You weren’t even good enough for your real mother, what makes you even close to good enough for HER.”_ It continued, hissing into his ears and filling up his throat and lungs. Qibli fought back a whimper, curling even tighter as his body and head screamed at him in tandem. It was too much, he couldn’t breath _couldn’tthinkcouldn’tmoveorevenscream-_

The sound of talons clacking against stone cut his thoughts off for a moment, his wings twitching as he tried to push himself further out of sight, pushing his front talons up against his eyes. _"_ _C_ _an’tlookcan’tletthemseeyoucryonlyheretohurtyouneedtorunneedtohidecan’tbeseencan’tlook"_ Qibli let out another shaky half-groan, unable to stop the noise from escaping his jaws as his thoughts continued to race. Eyes barely open, he saw a hint of rich green scales and a dragon’s talons. Turtle. Qibli reasoned, closing his eyes again as he dug his palms in deeper to his face, unable to stop the tears that seeped through the cracks in his talons and down his jaw. He heard a soft sigh as Turtle sat down in front of him. “Moon told me something was up, so I came to check on you.” Turtle’s voice was low and gentle, unassuming and neutral. “She would have come too, just, uh, didn’t want to end up getting caught up in it with you.” He added on, looking down to the floor.

 _“Well now, aren’t you glad? You finally got someone’s attention, you needy little waste of space.”_ The voice wormed its way back into his thoughts, sinking its claws into his head and filling the space with its noise.

 _“Just shut up, I don’t want to hear it right now."_ Qibli thought back fiercely, shaking his head to clear it. Through his talons, he saw Turtle glance at him, the Seawing’s eyes showing a hint of real concern. “Mmmphrh.” Qibli mumbled out loud in response, a fresh wave of shame and fear flowing over him. His mouth couldn’t or wouldn’t shape the right words, it was like trying to speak through a mouth full of sand. Feeling dumb and rather like a newborn dragonet, he made a half shrugging motion with his shoulders instead, the motion sending ripples of tension through his body and sending his thoughts spinning faster, twisting in a cavalcade of fear and pain. _“He’s not Cobra, he won’t hurt you, please just stop.”_ Qibli willed his body still and his thoughts quiet, until they slowed to an uneasy crawl circling just out of Qibli’s direct reach, but they still hung over him, pricking and poking at him. Peeking out, he caught Turtle’s gaze for a moment, and any control he had broke into a roaring crash of emotions and his body locked up, freezing him in place as static noise filled his ears and drilled into his head. Turtle didn’t give any indication of noticing, but he did scoot closer, looking down at the huddled dragon. Qibli pulled back.

“Here. Is it okay if I touch you?” Turtle asked quietly. Qibli let out a muffled sob, the pressure on his eyes increasing and his vision getting blurrier until all he could see was the grey blob of the floor. Slowly, Turtle extended a wing, gently resting it over the Sandwing’s back and lightly moving it up and down along his spine. At that, the tension in Qibli broke and he sunk down, his breath hitching and sobbing as tears poured out from his eyes and dripped down to the floor. Turtle didn’t react, continuing to stroke him softly as he lightly pushed up against the Sandwing, his warm weight comforting against Qibli’s shaking body.

“I’msorry-” Qibli mumbled hoarsely after some time, catching his breath as he leaned against the chubby Seawing. His body felt exhausted, like he had flown through the desert for miles, and his eyes ached where he had dug his talons in.

“You have nothing to apologize for.” Turtle hummed quietly, settling into a more comfortable crouch, legs tucked underneath him. Qibli scoffed, tucking his wings up against his sides as he slowly sat up, his tail and arms aching.

“That doesn’t mean I have to feel good about you sitting through that though.” Qibli huffed, shaking out his limbs and rising to his feet. “I mean, I feel gross about it and I didn’t have to watch… any of this.” He admitted with a mumble, shuffling his talons self-consciously.

“I mean, it would’ve happened whether or not I was here, right?” Turtle tilted his head, looking at Qibli with the look of a dragon trying to figure out the right pieces to a nearly completed puzzle. “And, you know, I’d rather be here trying to help, or I guess at least make sure you’re safe rather than knowing it was happening and just deciding to pretend it wasn’t or something.” He finished, fidgeting. “And… I get it, you know.” Turtle’s voice quirked up at the end in faint amusement, “I mean, maybe not quite like that, but at least something similar.” He waved awkwardly at where Qibli had been crouching, ducking his head. “I... know how bad it feels, to tackle that alone.” 

“Right.” Qibli winced, rubbing at his still-damp face with a talon. “I mean, if you ever need someone there… I’d be more than willing. Assuming I’m not being a hot mess myself.” He added the last part with a bit of bitterness.

“...Thanks.” Turtle’s voice gave nothing away, but Qibli saw the Seawing’s surprised, and pleased, expression before it was wiped clean, back to his usual relaxed look. Qibli stood, standing there awkwardly as he looked around the dim cavern.

"I don't know if I want to go join the others yet." Qibli said, his gaze far-off. "I.. I don't know if I can deal with the noise, or the amount of dragons." _And I'm certain I still look a mess._ He added silently to himself, discreetly beginning to preen his wings and scales. 

"It's not like we have to go up there immediately." Turtled commented, tilting his head to the side. "And if you'd like, I can go." He added.

"No, you're fine. Besides, I don't really know what I'd do down here alone." Qibli commented, looking around the drab stone walls with distaste.

“Wellll… there’s still time to swim before the next class. Just a possible activity down here.” said Turtle, looking at the water of the shore with barely repressed eagerness. “you know, thought I’d mention that while we're on the subject.”

“Aha! I knew there had to be an ulterior motive to this!” Qibli challenged playfully, a faint grin creeping up his face as Turtle looked mock-offended, before his face broke into a goofy grin. Taking that as an invitation, The Seawing turned, diving into the water with a resounding splash before slipping into graceful swimming strokes. With a start, Qibli followed. Casting a look back at the walls, he slid into the water, the chill biting into his scales.

It wasn’t perfect, that voice still lingered in the back of his mind, but as he swam laps with Turtle racing around the water, he felt it retreat away slightly, lose a little of the sharpness to its words. Taking in a deep breath, he dove down underneath the water, and his body floated peacefully in the new cool silence.

He was calm, he was safe, and he was loved.


End file.
